YOU'RE STUNTING
YOU FALL OUT OF BED. YOU TRIP DOWN THE STAIRS. YOU PICK UP A TRAY FULL OF DRINKS AND WALK INTO THE PATIO DOOR. YOU STEP ON A RAKE. YOU RIDE YOUR BIKE INTO A MAILBOX. YOU LEAN BACK IN YOUR CHAIR, FALL, AND BONK YOUR HEAD ON A FISH TANK. THE GLASS BREAKS. AQUARIUM WATER AND FLOPPING FISH RAIN DOWN ON YOU. EMBARRASSING MOMENTS? NAH. JUST PUT ON YOUR WRAP Gs AND ACT LIKE IT'S INTENTIONAL AS YOU SAUCILY QUIP, "I DO MY OWN STUNTS."
LOOK GOOD, BIKE GOODR.
1 NO SLIP
WE USE A SPECIAL GRIP COATING AND TEMPLE GRIPS TO CONSTRUCT OUR FRAME TO HELP ELIMINATE SLIPPAGE WHEN YOUR LAVA-INDUCED SWEAT POPS WHILE VOLCANO SURFING.
2 NO BOUNCE
OUR FRAME IS FITTED AND LIGHTWEIGHT, WITH A REMOVABLE NOSE-PIECE AND TWO SIZING OPTIONS TO PREVENT BOUNCING WHEN YOU LAND ON YOUR MOTORCYCLE SEAT AFTER DIVING OUT OF A HELICOPTER.
3 ANTI-FOG
EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE ANTI-FOG COATING PREVENTS THE INSIDE OF THIS EXTREME WRAPAROUND LENS FROM FOGGING EVEN WITH THE EXTREMEST SWEAT.
4 ALL POLARIZED
GLARE-REDUCING, POLARIZED LENSES AND UV400 PROTECTION THAT BLOCKS THOSE HARMFUL UVA AND UVB RAYS.
5 ALL EXTREME
YOU MIGHT BE AN EXTREME ATHLETE, YOU MIGHT BE A PRETTY AVERAGE ATHLETE WHO IS EXTREMELY DELUSIONAL. BOTH EXTREMELY EXTREME EXTREMISTS YEAHHHHHAHARGHHHHHWOOOOOHOOOOOOO
INTRODUCING I DO MY OWN STUNTS
AN OPEN LETTER TO HOLLYWOOD FROM ASPIRING ACTION STAR BRUNK LUMPSTACK.